Cairns Customs

The only time I've ever been aboard a boat that couldn't leave until customs had thoroughly gone through it was in (not California)(not Mexico)(stop trying to guess)Cairns, Australia. I know it's hard to believe, I couldn't believe it either! It was 100 degrees and the humidity was also 100% but they insisted and they had their reasons or so they had been informed! Usually customs shakes down your vessel when you enter a country but never (or rarely) when you are leaving! They held the owner/skipper John Main and my wife DOWNTOWN while they went through the boat " Windigo", a Roberts "45" foot ketch, looking ( they took the vacuum cleaner apart) for God knows what! Yea, we're going to smuggle Morioris into N.Z. to piss off the Maoris. These customs officers were serious. The reason I can say this is I am the only person aboard. They were in full dress! All three of them were soaked by their own perspiration looking for anything to indict John for wrongdoing! You see, the Australian government had made a deal with Sargent Major John Main and the men underneath his authority in Viet Nam. All were given an income if they would not go to the media and reveal any information regarding an " Incident" that occur ed that could embarrass not only Australia but some people in positions of power. Tick, tock, went the clock. I was in Port Douglas when John got his last check! I knew what happened in " The Nam"! I couldn't believe they pulled a King's X after all those years of silence! Since none of us do drugs, it took me a minute to figure out why the shakedown! I have no problem ever with customs boarding a vessel I'm on. Coast Guard cool too! Two thing's came into play in this affair. John had a friendship with a married woman whose husband was a chandler. He thought John was topping his wife and was going to run out on his bill! So he set John up and failed. He got paid in full but that is another story. I had so much fun telling my wife and John how long I kept the custom officers busy, watching their shirts turn a deeper shade of blue as the water released from sweat glands they had forgotten they possessed! I have such a warped sense of humor, I closed all breathers, hatches and basically everything I could because they were following a false lead. They ended up apologizing for any inconvenience they may have caused us. I asked , " So my wife and skipper are on there way?" They said, " Yes"! They gave us permission to leave as long as we stopped nowhere. Yea, right! We pulled up to our pre-arranged loading dock, laughing, taking on our green supplies that were refrigerated to the point of departure. The reason we were laughing is we could have been taking on anything but weren't! Only fresh vegetables for our ride to New Zealand! Ain't life grand?